"The Granite Family"
Season 9, Episode 05
Original air date July 22, 2012
Production code 905
Written by Matt Maiellaro
Dave Willis
Directed by Ned Hastings
Parental Advisory TV-MA
Aqua Teen Hunger ForceSeason 9
"Big Bro" · "Chicken and Beans" · "Shirt Herpes" · "Rocket Horse & Jet Chicken" · "The Granite Family" · "Bookie" · "Fightan Titan" · "Buddy Nugget" · "Zucotti Manicotti" · "Totem Pole"

"The Granite Family" is the 5th episode of Season 9 and the 115th overall of Aqua Something You Know Whatever.


Shake is watching The Granite Family and starts complaining to Frylock that it has no relevance to his life or anyone else's. Frylock states that the show was written in the 1950s and that Shake is indeed watching a re-run. After Shake and Meatwad discuss other television characters for a few minutes, Frylock offers Shake the ability to travel back to the stone age with his "time thongs." Shake mocks Frylock and leaves the house, claiming he has a better idea.

Later on, Shake is participating in a tour of the White House and sneaks into the oval office. He calls Russia to insult them (mistakenly calling them communists, long after their converting to capitalism), claim to be "Barrack Obama," and tell them that he's going to fire several nuclear weapons, specifically missiles, at the country, which he does. A secret service agent tackles Shake to the ground, but it is too late. Russia fires missiles back, and soon a nuclear war is waged.

Meanwhile on the moon, Ignignokt is amused that Earth is "remaking The Granite Family." Err has never heard of the show, and the two exchange words about television and movies.

Back on Earth, Frylock is shocked to see that Shake has indeed started a nuclear war, but Shake is ecstatic about getting a remake, not that this is true. The Aqua Teens walk into Carl's house to find Carl having intercourse with a blow-up doll. Frylock hurriedly reminds Carl that he has a bomb shelter.

The four of them make their way into Carl's bomb shelter, which Carl has turned into his "man cave." After Carl shows them his poster and speakers and Shake insults the food supply, Frylock and the others take a moment to appreciate the grim outcome of the world. Realizing he left his "flat screen" on the surface, Carl attempts to go back and get it. The Aqua Teens hold him back, and the power goes out. Carl turns on his generator, only to realize it will only work for two and a half hours. Shake continues to not understand the situation by using a dead bird to unsuccessfully play a record. The bird is contaminated with radiation, however, so Frylock throws it out. Frylock tries to comfort Meatwad, only to begin crying about Santa Claus being turned to "a pile of goo." Carl and Shake continue to not understand how serious the situation is, and Meatwad presents a bag that he has defecated in. Frylock cons Shake into taking the bag outside. Frylock begins to formulate a plan to use the "time thongs" to travel back in time to stop the nuclear war.

Outside, Shake starts to realize that the remake of The Granite Family is not happening because almost all life on earth is destroyed. A mysterious time traveler appears and states that his name is Time Warner. He claims that he time travels to warn people that if they use ideas from his movies, he'll sue them. Meanwhile, Frylock continues to explain his plans to Meatwad and Carl, but they question why he made a thong instead of something practical like a ring or a belt. Time Warner teleports into the room with Shake. Frylock explains to Shake that he's going travel back in time to prevent Shake from destroying all life on Earth. However, Time Warner states that it "doesn't matter" because he's going to go to the future to sell The Granite Family remake to "this fox," who exclaims "Woo-hoo" in a voice similar to that of Homer Simpson. Time Warner goes on to say he owns time travel. Frylock states he cannot possibly own all of the movies involving time travel. The characters list off movies, to which Time Warner continually say, "[I] Own it."

Frylock travels back in time, as do Meatwad and Carl. Shake says, "I am legend," referencing a film about the last man on Earth. He asks if Time Warner owns it, and Time Warner states that he does, stuttering greatly until Shake finally knocks him out.

Much earlier, Shake, who is now wearing Time Warner's time travel vest, arrives at his destination and knocks out a past version of himself. Frylock then locks Shake out of the oval office, but a third version of Shake appears claiming to be the president of the United States. Frylock discovers that he is indeed the president and is escorted out of the oval office by secret service agents. The credits start playing over the episode to once again reference The Flintstones. Time Warner and the fox have apparently been watching all of this unfold on a T.V. in an executive's office, and they discuss how to make it more "believable." The episode ends with Time Warner stating, "That's all, folks."

Featured Characters


  1. Billions of people and animals are killed during the nuclear war.


  • A promotional image from this episode was used in the "two weeks until premiere" bumper.
  • The Granite Family is a parody of The Flintstones.
  • The Mooninites make a cameo appearance.
  • Like in The and Jumpy George, Err's voice is much deeper and he speaks with a slur. However, this may be because Matt Maiellaro had a cold, which has affected Err's voice in the past.
  • This is the first time in a while since the Frydar is used. The last time being in Shake Like Me.
  • This is the first episode since Allen Part 1 to not start with the opening theme song, and the second episode in the history of the show to not start with any opening theme song, the first being "The Last One ".
  • The episode poke fun about the planned Flintstones reboot by Seth MacFarlane (which was rejected). Time Warner represents the company Time Warner and has a Porky Pig like stutter and the fox represents the Fox network (owner of flagship station WNYW) the show was going to be on and also features a Matt Groening like design and a Homer Simpson like voice.
  • Time Warner is a representation of the actual Time Warner Company that owns Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, etc.
  • Its completely unknown where Carl and Meatwad travel back through time.
  • After the earth is destroyed, the background uses the same animation from Global Grilling.


  • The fox says "Sundays at nine!" in Homer's voice. If they are referring to the Simpsons, then it would actually be at eight. However, Family Guy, an animated series created by Seth MacFarlane, usually airs on FOX at nine on Sunday nights.*

*Note that this information is viable to change from the time of its writing. Family guy as well as The Simpsons and any other formailty found on FOX, FOX NEWS, or any of it's subsidiaries are not viable to motorization to change this time. Time slots may be changed to different shows and/or sections of programming. The presented information is believed accurate upon the time of its writing.

  • When the gang arrives at Carl's house during the nuclear holocaust, they saw him naked with a sex doll and a television playing with woman's breasts. However, the program should have been destroyed due to the devastation of the war.

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