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Svetlana

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Svetlana Smith-Shake is a Chechnyan mail-order bride, first and only seen in Mail Order Bride when Carl and Shake agreed to "share" the marriage to her. Carl is excited by the prospect of sex he doesn't have to pay for, and Shake is looking forward to "owning" a full-time personal cook. Frylock thinks this is "depraved", which Shake thanks him for and says he "thinks she sees that in me".

After arriving and getting a good look at both of her future husbands--the bald, obese Carl in sweatpants brandishing a tiny g-string and asking her to "put this on and shake it" and a giant milkshake demanding she get in the kitchen and "boil [him] some sausages"--the horrified Svetlana ran into Carl's house in terror and locked herself inside for the rest of the episode, even boarding up the windows and doors so they couldn't get in.

She is so disgusted with her future husbands that Shake and Carl are actually forced to have the marriage ceremony in the hallway of Carl's house with her still locked in Carl's bedroom. Frylock presides over the ceremony, and unable to pronounce Svetlana's last name, Carl tells him "just to say Smith or Jones or something, it doesn't matter". When he can't pronounce Carl's last name either, Carl tells him just to say Smith as well, because the wedding is of dubious legality anyway. When Frylock prompts them for the ring, Shake angrily says he's "not getting roped into all that", since he "hasn't seen food once since this whole thing started", which Carl is inclined to agree with. Frylock skips the ring and the kiss and simply declares them three-way married, at which point she smashes the window of Carl's room, escapes down a rope made of bedsheets and flees in 2 Wycked, since, as Meatwad points out, it's half hers now. "Or a third...I dunno."

She also made a short appearance in Freedom Cobra, and the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Forever Theme Song.

AppearancesEdit

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