Master Your Finances and $HAKE IT UP! is a book written by Master Shake himself that helps lead you to a better life at the expense of others. However, the tips provided are illogical, unethical, and hardly make any sense at all and or would not even help you out of that situation. Because of this, the book did not sell at all, and the Aqua Teens were left with a whole garage full of unsold copies. Although Master Shake does not blame the advice provided, instead, he blames the fact that Frylock shut the website down.
Chapter One: Make every problem your Slave.
- Rule One: Asses the Situation "We are fucked."
- Rule Two: Apply Blame "You, Frylock, your the one."
- Rule Three: Don't let the blamee here about you blaming them "Hey Meatwad, Frylock really jobbed us on this, didn't he?
- Rule Four: Make a suggestion. But don't own up to it incase it sucks "Hey guys, what if we make a boat out of sand, BUT, it's a glass-bottom boat, then we could host tours for this roasted bird, and get money, to buy a plane ticket outta here from an airport that does not exist!"
- Rule Four: Take well-deserved nap "Good night, good luck, the end."
- "Classic" Rule Five "Ignore existence of dilemma, and it shall go away."