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Master Your Finances and $HAKE IT UP! is a book written by Master Shake himself that helps lead you to a better life at the expense of others. However, the tips provided are illogical, unethical, and hardly make any sense at all and/or would not even help you out of that situation. Because of this, the book did not sell at all, and the Aqua Teens were left with a whole garage full of unsold copies. However, Master Shake does not blame the advice provided; instead, he blames the fact that Frylock shut the website down.
Chapter One: Make every problem your slave.
- Rule One: Assess the Situation "We are fucked."
- Rule Two: Apply Blame "You, Frylock, you're the one."
- Rule Three: Don't let the blamee here about you blaming them "Hey Meatwad, Frylock really jobbed us on this, didn't he?
- Rule Four: Make a suggestion. But don't own up to it in case it sucks "Hey guys, what if we make a boat out of sand, BUT, it's a glass-bottom boat, then we could host tours for this roasted bird, and get money, to buy a plane ticket outta here from an airport that does not exist!"
- Rule Four: Take well-deserved nap "Good night, good luck, the end."
- "Classic" Rule Five "Ignore existence of dilemma, and it shall go away."