The actor and comedian Larry Miller shows up at Carl's doorstep to try and sell him a toupee, the "Larry Miller Hair System". The toupee is made of painted and corrugated sheet metal, there's only one in existence, it's been returned at least once, and God told him to sell it to Carl so Larry can feed his "all-consuming" gambling addiction. (Carl: "Hm...so what's the catch?")
As part of the pitch, Larry uses a simulation machine in the back of his van to show Carl what his life would be like if he had hair. The simulation version of Carl is much slimmer, less slovenly and has a full head of hair, as well as a normal (if rather boring and saccharine) life with a wife, two kids and a stable job. Real-life Carl is initially confused by this ("I don't see any hookers...is it because I scared them away?"), but quickly becomes disgusted with his simulation self's healthy, polite and non-confrontational attitude, which he describes as "selling out".
Soon, Larry realizes they're close to AC Beach, he can "smell the cards", and runs off in a frenzy to go gamble, leaving Carl alone with the simulation machine. Carl thus sets about manipulating the life of the "other Carl", who can constantly hear the real Carl's voice but can't see him.
He starts demanding that his simulation self "grow a sack," which basically consists of doing all the things he would do, including staying up all night drinking beer, ordering a penis pump, sexually insulting his wife and turning a minor confrontation over the fax machine at work into physical violence.
Soon, simulation Carl is fired, and his wife leaves him and takes his kids. However, he still has one dignity, his hair, which the real Carl ensures that he gets rid of as well. Now jobless, wifeless, and hairless (just like the real Carl), the simulation version of Carl kills himself.
Later on Carl agrees to the hair system, which is attached to his skull with POP rivets like a fender from a body shop. The Aqua Teens don't appear until the end, when Frylock points out to Carl that the metal rivets in his skull appear to be infected. Also the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From the Future and the robots from the theme song make an appearance.
- Larry Miller
- Alternate reality Carl
- Carl's alternate reality wife
- Carl's alternate reality son and daughter
- Carl's two alternate puppy dogs
- Master Shake
- Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future
- Room of unnamed robots
- This episode is currently excluded from the AdultSwim.com shop's custom DVD maker. The only way to get it legally is from iTunes.
- This episode reveals that Carl has a small penis, which explains much of his behavior.