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I Want Candy (later changed to I Need Candy) is a song written by "MC Pee Pants" in order to send subliminal messages to listeners. By creating this song, MC Pee Pants attempted to "jack up" his listeners on candy, and use their hyper-active blood sugar to power a drill that burrows directly into Hell, releasing demons upon the earth. His icon is an 11-year old boy, styleishly dressed with candy; Wearing a smartie-laced necklace with a candy cane hanging from it, a gumdrop bracelet, and red-and-white striped hat. All while carrying lolliepops, pixie sticks, and holding 3 different kinds of candy bars in his coat pocket. His normal clothing is also striped in several different colours. This icon, however, is only a fake used to mask the writer's real appearence. The song is really written and sung by MC Pee Pants, an eight-foot spider wearing a diaper and shower cap, originally created by Dr. Weird to be his "beautiful" Fiancé. Uknown to the listener, the song's lyrics and catchy tunes repeat compulsively within one's mind. Putting it colloquially, it becomes stuck in your head, until the song eventually becomes adictive and makes you crave candy and eat impulsivley without adequate forethought. the lyric "Mess up the mix, mix up the mess, come on down yo, here's the adress at 6-1-2 Wharf Avenue." lures the listener to that exact location, where MC Pee Pants awaits to jump you, and forcibly strap you to a throne.
- "I want candy, bubble gum, and taffy
- Skip to the sweet shop with my sweetheart Sandy
- Got my pennies saved so I'm her sugar daddy
- I'm her Hume Cronyn and she's my Jessica Tandy, I want candy!"
- "put it in a pile, split it with my bitty 50/50 down the line
- kinda like close encounters of the cavity kind
- im talkin liquorice kisses, talkin chocodile smiles"
- "I want candy, i got a sugar tooth
- put on your shin guards, Sandy, 'cause i wanna knock boots
- lick my peppermint stick til' the lollipop droops
- gumdrop that dont stop til' its licked knot loose!"
- "candy... candy..."
- "I need candy bubble gum, and taffy
- get in my way punk, you're gonna get ya ass beat, nasty
- Do it till your dad sees, embarass your whole family
- Just 'cause you came between a kid and his candy
- I need candy, any kind'll do
- Don't care if it's nutritious or "FDA approved"
- It's gonna make me spaz like bobcats on booze
- A hyperactive juice that only I can produce"
- "And fuel a giant drill, bore straight into Hell
- Releasing ancient demons from their sleep forever spell
- So they can walk upon the earth, and get resituated
- And Hock the diet pills that MC Pee Pants has created"
- "I need candy, want some candy, eat candy til' I'm dead
- I'll kill you for some candy, give me candy, candy head!
- Where you keepin' all the candy?!
- Who made you candy king?!
- If you dont give me some candy, I will make the ladies sing!"
- "Candy, in tha morning, candy on the way to school"
- "Candy, at school, at lunch in the afternoon"
- "Candy, in school, on your way home from school"
- "Candy, at diner,at dinner, in bed!"
- "Mess up the mix, mix up the mess
- Come on down yo, here's the address
- At 6-1-2 Wharf Avenue,"
- "Right next to the gentlemen's club."